Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Hugh Hefner a two second man - Crystal Harris

Crystal came out guns blazing on a recent interview she did with Howard Stern talking about Hugh not being into hitting the skins and even when he did it was shorter than a rabbits round. More after the jump:

Crystal Harris continued on her Failed Gold Digging Whore Tour today by talking with Howard Stern about the first time she ever humped the bone dust out of Hugh Hefner's grave worm dick. It was pretty much the kind of romantic shit you'd expect between a 24-year-old lazy gold digger and an 85-year-old grandwhore. Crystal got to bypass Hef's usually conveyer belt line of blonde sluts and go straight to the front for a two-second long ride that made her pussy frown. Crystal spoke the language of true romance when she put it like this to Howard:

    "[It lasted] like, two seconds. Then I was just over it. I was like, 'Ahh.' I was over it. I just, like, walked away. I'm not turned on by Hef. Sorry. He doesn't really take off his clothes. I've never seen Hef naked."


Sugar Pie better stick her little paw out, because Anna Nicole Smith is about to shed one single tear from heaven over this hurtful shit. Anna Nicole would've never behaved like that. That bum bitch Crystal Harris is a shame to all gold diggers. Yes, the thought of riding on Hef would make most coochies stiffen up like they've got rigor mortis, but you slap it loose and handle it.

You picture Hef's wrinkly flesh stick as his checking account and you picture your vag as your checking account. With every thrust you make, you picture a "transfer transmitting" bar. Don't hit back, just keep thrusting. Make that transfer, bitch! Seriously, that's how a real gold digger does it. I swear. If I was related to Crystal, I'd erase her name from our family tree on A shame.

I blame Crystal for leading Hugh Hefner on, if you were looking for some serious sex you could have got your self a young man to take care of your needs whilst you cuddle with Hef on the regular, i swear she could have had the keys to the Playboy empire. Old girl doesn't have brains, can't you see that Hef is about to die any day now...Dumb bitch



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